Hey guys,
I know its been a while since I posted something. I've just been running out of ideas. Anyway this post is inspired by the last post because I'm still dealing with the same issue but I'm coping so I might as well share my advice on these sort of things, as I myself think that this is an important issue to share to anyone, but of course more in particular those of you who are close to your goals.
First things first unnecessary advice:
What is unnecessary advice?
This kind "oh your getting too skinny you need to stop!"
basically people telling you that you are getting too skinny out of exaggeration or from their own bias and you look fine you may have a bit of flab maybe around your belly like me and you barely look anything like those sickly thin modals in those high fashion magazines. Yet you look normal and losing a tiny bit doesn't hurt.
Who gives me this advice?
This advice mainly comes from people either friends or family mostly mums or aunts grandmothers or anyone who is old enough to be your mother or they can just be one of your best friends who is around the same age as you.
Are they jealous?
It is true that it can come from jealous people as well but to answer your question, when it comes to a loved one telling you these things, no, they are not jealous they just get worried because some people find that being skinny is not good as they find its not healthy and some think that having lots of meat on the bones is a good thing as in they don't like to see skin and bones. It also could be because they are not used to seeing the new you. And also because you have chosen to eat less they automatically think that you're not eating enough as in they think you are undernourished even though you are nourished and you feel like a million bucks. They also might not have proper knowledge and can sometimes be biased to what an extremely healthy body looks like. I am not trying to speak lowly of them this is just my honest opinion.
How do I deal with being given this advice?
Well first of all don't let it upset you, remember everyone has their own opinions as to what a healthy a figure looks like. But if they try to hold an intervention or whatever try and explain to them what you are really trying to do, for example they tell you, you should not lose anymore weight but you want to lose the rest of your belly fat but at the same time you don't want to look skeletal, try and tell them that and explain to them the difference between what a slim healthy figure looks like and what an unhealthy slim figure looks like, because really there is a difference, you can take pictures from google images or where ever and show them the difference, as that might help them understand and save them from worrying and also tell them that you want to build muscle which WILL make you gain weight. So yeah tell them those things because they might not have the right knowledge and may need things to be explained. Here's another one they feel sorry for you when you can't eat too much or you decided to stay away from that high calorie cake or whatever, tell them some facts like a whole bowl of broccoli is equivalent to one small bar of chocolate or make it go like this "Oh really?, you feel sorry for me? well that cake has 600 calories in it and I just had a good nourishing meal I much rather a piece of fruit that tastes good to me too you know? so there's no need to worry!" Or simply just tell them that you are never hungry and you are enjoying life better than you were before you lost all your weight and you feel lighter and happier, you can also talk about what problems being overweight caused you in the past like lets say your doctor told you that you are on the verge of becoming diabetic or you had trouble walking due to extra weight and all sorts of health issues that came from being over weight. Tell them this stuff and they might very well change their minds.
What if they don't listen or they don't care what you tell them?
Well I don't know what to say and I don't know how I can help you with this one much because I struggle with this too but all I can say is this. They are either being biased or jealous, because even family members can get jealous(I'll talk more about jealousy later) but no one in my family is jealous and nor are any of my friends. But as far as them being biased don't let it worry you or upset you, keep doing what is best for yourself remember this is your life and they have no right to tell you what to do and they are not the boss of you, they don't know what is best for you, the only person who knows whats best for you is you. As long as you are eating well, keeping fit and active drinking your fluids, never hungry and your happy that is all that matters when it comes to your health. Their opinion is not the gospel remember that and just ignore what they tell you, just keep going until your at that place where you want/need to be and don't let anyone get in your way. You can't change their opinion but that doesn't mean that you can't reach your goals and at the end of the day its just an opinion. So basically just keep going and ignore what anyone says be them jealous or not.
How do I deal with jealous people?
Ignore them and don't worry about them. If someone is jealous of you than its their problem not yours. Anything they say or do to you is their own problem. If this person is a friend, stop hanging out with them, because that's a sign that they are not a good friend. You want to be around friends who will be happy for you and want nothing but the best for you. Usually the kind of people who get jealous are ones who are simply selfish, so get them out of your life, you don't need them because they can be very problematic like they will try to compete with you or they will have their eye on you most of the time or they will cherry pick you as in they will pay attention to what you are eating or find something to say that's not nice or they will accuse you of being arrogant as losing weight boosts confidence but some especially ones who are insecure will mistake it for arrogance or they will lie and tell you that you've gotten too skinny just to trick your mind. People like that can be manipulative so be careful who you hang out with. Also don't think that you can change these type of people by still being their friend LEAVE them and if they want to be nasty about it and talk bad behind your back then as I said earlier that's their problem. You should not give a care in the world about what they have to say about you because well you know why! Its their problem! So screw them they're the ones who are messed up. They are the ones who are arrogant not you. Once you leave them, perhaps maybe years later they might understand why you left them if they ever decide to change their ways who knows. But don't expect them to change if your still their friend. That's why I say get rid of them. delete them as a friend on facebook, delete their number on your mobile phone do whatever it is that you need to do and if they are sending bitchy text messages, don't respond, delete the messages. I know this sounds like a mean thing to do but trust me if you continue to hangout with them they will just try to make your life difficult. You really do not want that plus people like that need to learn where they are going wrong anyway.
And that is my guide on how to deal with this sort of stuff. I hope you found this post useful, because many of you should be aware that sometimes you will have people in your life who worry about you too much or some of you might have friends who get jealous easily. You have to understand that when you lose a great amount of weight there are sometimes new problems so its good to know what to do when these problems happen don't make it an excuse not to lose weight, not everything will be perfect but remember there is always a solution to these sort of problems, so hang in there.
Never let anything get in your way and stay strong, no matter what people say.
Love
Alice
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