Hey,
I know I haven't been posting much lately but I have recently been inspired to create a new post.
Stuff got it the way which I will explain more in another post.
You know guys ever since I've lost 31 kilos. People come to me for advice. Which is to be expected of course, as once you succeed people are gonna wanna know, how you did it and what drove you to do it etc.
Now I can only speak for what worked for myself, but I found that the main thing that got me to lose all this weight was a positive mind set. You may think that it sounds lame. I can tell you though that its better than thinking things like "I'm a failure" or "I don't believe in myself" or "I suck" etc. The problem with that mind set is that it will lead you to give up.
You guys need to understand that more than anything a positive mind is MORE important than just counting your calories or exercise, because think about it. Who's responsibility is it to brush your teeth, take a shower, go to work? that's right YOU It is your responsibility to commit. It is your mind that tells you "Okay, I have this to do this now, I shall do it" or "Okay I've gotta cook dinner now" It is your responsibility to commit yourself to exercise, count your calories and cook healthy meals.
But what if I don't have a positive mindset?
Oh boy.......sigh.
I am sorry you feel this way. There is probably a reason why you don't have one and I think I know why. You just haven't developed one and passed failures may have led you to think this way about yourself. But don't worry just because you don't have a positive mindset it does NOT mean that you can't have one. You have the freedom to create a positive mindset! Who says you can't!?
Here are some steps to create one
Number 1
Stop thinking of yourself as a failure. I don't care if you failed 5, 6, or 1 billion times. Failures do happen, yes they do, its sad but you can't let them get in your way. It took me more than 5 times to lose 31 kilos and look where I am today. Mind you I fail a lot in things, for example I am still learning how to drive and I am still making mistakes, but I am not gonna let that stop me, I am not gonna quit taking lessons or call myself a failure even though there were times I did feel like a failure, but at the end of the day I am not gonna let stupid failures or mistakes stop me. It was the same thing when I lost all this weight. Besides I succeed because I failed. Because without mistake/failures how are you gonna learn?! If You fall off the horse all you have to do is climb back up again. In other words okay so you ate a whole Dominos Pizza yesterday along with other bad food like that snickers bar despite having that healthy breakfast you ate that morning and you didn't exercise are you gonna carry on the next day eating healthy meals and not cancel your exercise or are you gonna give up? or are you gonna continue your bad eating habits and allow yourself to gain more weight and label yourself a failure instead of fixing your problems? The reason why you are overweight is NOT because you are a failure its because you are doing the wrong thing and you just haven't figured out how to do it properly.
Here's a quick tip!
If you find yourself failing again ask yourself "Okay why am I failing?' or "What am I doing wrong?"
The reason why most people fail on losing weight is because they could be doing an exercise that does not suit them or they could be eating a food that is healthy but they hate it. Those are common mistakes people make.
Number 2
Let go of your excuses. I use to make tons of excuses like for example as soon as I would eat something unhealthy I would think "Ok there goes my diet now I can't carry on". I would also make excuses to start later instead of now for example "Ok it's Easter now I'll put off healthy eating and exercise till next month". Another example is soreness after working out. Well that's something your body needs to get used, not only that but getting sore is actually a good thing because that means you are pushing hard and that you have something to work up to. I know its unbearable but feeling the burn is a good thing. When I work out yes I do suffer I mean I did some abdominal works outs last night and it hurt! but I'm glad it did. I'm going to sound like a weirdo when I say this but I like it when my muscles are sore because it reminds of how hard I worked. I remember the time when I did the Jillian Michaels ripped in 30, the workouts from that DVD made my butt and thigh muscles really sore, like I just could not walk properly but I kept a positive mindset about the pain, so I enjoyed the pain, plus the pain would go away as I continued to do the workouts as my muscles got more used to the workouts. All in all if you are sore enjoy it. You may disagree but enjoying the pain helped me get through my workouts, in other words don't use sore muscles as an excuse to not workout. Another excuse I can think of is people using genetics as an excuse or saying that its hard those ARE excuses, I mean there are overweight people in my family but I didn't let that stop me from losing 31 kilos there also people in real life who came from families who were overweight but still managed to lose heaps of pounds and I could care less how hard losing weight is. I was told it would be hard but I didn't let that stop me. In other words guys and girls STOP MAKING EXCUSES!
Number 3
Don't believe or think that you are always gonna be fat/unhealthy or destined to be overweight and unhealthy. You NEED to get rid of that mindset. That is the main reason why you may be still having trouble losing weight. People think that their genes and level of difficulty of losing weight are the main thing, well that's only part of it. The other part is the mental part its not just the eating and the exercise. You must NEVER think that you are always going to be fat. Warning: if you think you are always going to to be fat or destined to be fat than you are gonna stay that way for the rest of your life! I'm serious! This is what leads so many people to fail, this is why so many people these days are unhealthy because they feel they have no control with their lives, they think its their body alone that does all the work when really its the way they think about fitness and health. They always think things like this "Well my mum was fat, my grandma was fat my great grandma was fat.... so yeah I'm meant to be fat" Let me tell you guys that is not true! it doesn't matter who was fat in your family, just because you inherited a slow metabolism is does not mean you are meant to be fat, you just have to change your life style. Also people who are naturally skinny and have a fast metabolism are not always healthy either and they also can get diabetes from eating unhealthy plus they think they don't need exercise and guess what happens to them next. They end up not ageing well and they become weak and undernourished due to eating the wrong foods, all because they think they can eat crap and get away with it, so think of having a slow metabolism as a positive thing, what I mean by that is that you can use it to remind yourself that you need to be healthy and it will keep you from eating junk all the time. Also lets not forget that there are people who are so skinny that they hate it and they try hard to gain weight. They also get shamed for being too skinny and at the same time they struggle to gain weight, just like how people who are overweight struggle to lose weight and get shamed for being fat. But still get rid of the whole "I'm meant to be this way" attitude, because that is not going to help you succeed, its gonna make losing weight harder plus losing weight is possible, if you think that losing weight is impossible and you're meant to be fat than it is YOU who is making it impossible, when really it is possible, you see where I'm getting at? That makes it more hard for you because. Thinking this way goes to show how you don't value yourself well enough what I mean by that is when you say things like "oh I'm meant to be fat" what you are really saying is "I don't deserve to be fit and healthy" or "I am not worthy" that's where it comes from, you think you don't deserve it, you have to believe you deserve it. You have to be your own best friend.
Number 4
Don't think of losing weight as a superficial thing. There is more to losing weight than the way it makes you look. The most important thing about losing weight is your health. Don't focus too much on how you will look. People always think that losing weight is all about looking good and so many companies that market products on weight loss such as diet shakes, pills, frozen meals etc put too much emphasis on the "looks" many products are much too geared on how it will make you look yet ignore the healthy side of it and also put to much focus on losing the weight quick, that is not healthy, I'll never forget the many stupid ads I saw on TV, my goodness they make me cringe! Anyway what I mean by this point is don't lose weight just to look good, I'm not saying don't lose it to look good what I mean is take into consideration your health first because that is more important than how you will look on the outside after all if you feel good you will look good. Focus more on how you will feel when you eat healthy food and how you will feel when you lead an active lifestyle. Also don't think of exercise as something like homework from school or a chore like washing the dishes think of it as something that's part of your life because including exercise is part of creating a new life style as well eating properly. Another thing you should know about exercise is it does not only help you lose weight, its also good for your skin but most importantly its also good for your mental health and it helps you sleep better, it will really makes you feel good because exercise can help fight stress for example kick boxing and yoga are great for that. Exercise can be a therapy! Plus you don't have to go to the gym you can work out at home. If you have time to have a shower, put your make up on than you should have time to work out and prepare something healthy to eat. So basically think of how losing weight can benefit your life. I understand that you may want to look good, there's nothing wrong with that as everybody wants to look their best, But the root to looking your best is really looking after your health that's why there is a proper way to losing weight, why do you think anorexic/bulimic people look so sickly and unhappy? Or why do you think people fail miserably when they yo yo diet? Too many people forget about being healthy when they try to lose weight, there's also always too much focus on losing weight alone too quickly without taking into consideration their health which brings me to the next point.
Number 5
Be patient. Be patient on your journey. You must NEVER expect results so quickly this is one valuable lesson I learned on my journey. If you get too impatient things are not gonna go in your favor because that can lead you to give up, it took me over a year to drop 31 kilos. There were times where I did get impatient but I had to keep reminding myself that I shouldn't expect results too quickly and that it would take time to lose the weight. Don't give up so easily if you are not looking slim yet despite losing maybe 3 kilos or so. This is why I explained earlier not to focus on the way you look too much, focus more on how good you will feel. Most of the time its best to focus more on the lifestyle and just forget about what you look like most of the time because that way your results will appear quicker even though it hasn't been quick.
Tip: Weigh your self once a month instead of once a week that way you won't feel rushed. It will also make your journey appear faster than it is. Also don't look in the mirror too often.
Number 6
Don't compare yourself to others in a bad way. What I mean by this is, don't look to others and think things like "Gosh this person is so committed, unlike me, I never commit" or "I'll never be as good as this person". Don't get me wrong its great to take inspiration from other people's successes however thoughts like that are not going to help, heck that example is not what taking inspiration is. What that is is thinking that that person who succeeded is superior to you when in actual truth that is NOT true! They are no different from you. You have to understand that people who were successful with losing weight, were once in your shoes, There must have been times where they had their low moments in their journeys that includes me by the way. I had my low moments there were times where I would worry about staying fat forever. Lets not forget that it took me many tries to lose weight before I reached my goal. Plus everyday for me is not always perfect I have my days where my eating is not healthy. You must never think that anyone is better than you or that you are better than other people. I mean just because someone was successful with weight loss doesn't mean you can't be. To put everything in nutshell, yes take inspiration/motivation from them but NEVER think you can't be as successful as them.
Number 7
Stop caring about what other people will think about you. This is pointless because, You are doing this for yourself. This is about you not them. What they think is their own business if they get jealous than its their problem, or if they want to stop being your friend because you lost weight than its their problem. They are the ones creating the problem not you. So if you sense that someone is going to be negative than push that person out of your life, or just simply ignore them. You don't need them. The only thing important here is that you are doing whats right for yourself. Besides if a friend is being negative than that "friend" was not being a true friend to you in the beginning a real would be happy for what you accomplished. So if someone is doubting you or gets jealous. remember this special quote I don't know who said this but its really a great thing to remember.
"When someone is nasty or treats you poorly, don't take it personally. It says nothing about you but a lot about them"
So in other words if someone is getting jealous or doubts you, don't take it move on , because they are responsible for their own actions, and that is something you cannot control, the only person you can control is yourself and you have the power to take or leave what they say or do to you ;)
Number 8
Don't feel you need to lose weight to impress people especially men or women(for you guys too!). You are not doing this to please anyone, you are doing this to please yourself and fulfill your needs. just like I mentioned in number 7 you are losing weight for yourself. And as I said earlier losing weight is not something that should be made out to be a totally superficial thing because it involves your health too. You have to be your own best friend in this journey, basically what I am saying is in order to please others you have to please yourself first. You are also your own worst critic when it comes to your journey as well.
Number 9
Stop thinking that its all about luck. Because it is NOT about luck its about working hard and really keeping yourself grounded. and that stands true for people with slow metabolisms. At the end of the day guys and girls, you are not meant to be fat, because its you who is responsible for what you eat and how much you eat and of course putting in the effort to exercise. notice how I put effort in bold well I have another quote to share with you and this quote came from Jillian Michaels
"Its not about perfect its about effort"
and to add to that its also not about about luck either.
Number 10
Ok last but not least, BELIEVE in yourself. That is very important you need to believe that you can do this. throw away your self doubt stop calling yourself a failure! YOU CAN DO THIS PERIOD.
And that's it everyone, if you are getting to a point in your journey where you are feeling low, please read this entry to pick yourself up again as its takes a lot of mental strength to keep yourself grounded.
Love
Alice
